School for Shells
by Rotrum
Summary: Tsuna gets "randomly" transferred to live in America to learn from another perspective, and begins keeping a journal when he notices the rest of the Vongola with tickets coming with him to the airport.  T just to be safe
1. Life's Lost and Language Learning

**School for Shells**

**Summary: Tsuna gets "randomly" transferred to live in America to learn from another perspective, and begins keeping a journal when he notices the rest of the Vongola with tickets coming with him to the airport.**

Rotrum: Too lazy to do anything other than upload, someone else do the Disclaimer…

Mukuro: Rotrum doesn't own anything and may or may not survive to finish uploading this story for Tsu-kun. Kufufu…

Chapter One-Life's lost and language learning...great.

Hello, my name is Tsunayoshi Sawada. I am writing this journal and uploading it in fear I don't survive the next school year or two. I bought this journal as soon as the rest of the Vongola began to come with me to the exchange program, I asked Reborn but all he said was not to worry. So here is me worrying. If you know my Family, which you probably do if you're in this section, then you can see why I'm worried. I'm on the plane to America right now, I'll be living in the suburbs and working on my English (And other subjects...) in Maryland at a School I don't know the name of. If there is only thing for sure, this is going to be an insane school year…

This morning at the Airport, Hibari refused to let go of his tonfas for the metal detector and threatened to kill the Security Workers. I feel sorry for them, I really truly do...but there was no way I was getting between Hibari and his enemies. They survived only because Reborn injected Hibari with a "Mild Sedative," although I kind of wonder how mild something can be if the syringe is bigger than a glass.

That wasn't even the worst of it, after they stuck Hibari into a suitcase, sold his ticket off to terrorists, and pretended he was never there to save money, Gokudera went through the metal detector…and I now know from experience that airport security doesn't appreciate someone with enough explosives hidden in his clothes to blow up Dulles, where we'll land, and blow his way to the White House and blow that up too. How he holds that much at a time I'll never know, he told me not to worry about it. Again, this is me worrying at airport security.

After that Gokudera was strip searched, holding us and the plane up for an hour, and put on the international terrorists list. So guess who else was crammed into a suitcase and had his ticket sold to terrorists? If you guessed Gokudera you're right, if you guessed me, then enough people make me suffer, thank you very much. After that the security guard slapped me across the face and said "That's incase you're armed like your friends" he then looked at me and slapped me again and said, "And that's incase you like it" (A/N: Clearly this Japanese Guard was watching too much George Lopez)

After they looked through my stuff they let me pass, but he didn't say sorry for smacking me. Yamamoto went through and was perfectly fine with his sword, because apparently Reborn made special arrangements for him of all people and it was supposed to be ornamental and unsharpened. The sad part was they didn't even check it, yet they somehow found the hidden weapons in Hibari's tonfas. I guess Yamamoto is just that calm and easy-going no one thinks that he could possibly be trying to kill anyone.

Chrome was ordered to use illusions to avoid the checkpoint to save money, I swear for a mafia we're underfunded. Ryohei, who, thankfully, fights with his fists, got through security completely fine and unscathed. Lambo's hair caused such a huge disruption that he accused our entire group of planning to throw him out the window and blow up a small country in Africa or Europe that no one knows the name of. (A/N: Points if you know this reference)

Lambo eventually cried…and cried…until eventually security gave up on trying to yell over him and let us pass. I deeply question why they let Reborn jump over the metal detector, kick the security guard in the head for delaying us, and calmly walk to the plane with us in peace. Well…I can tell I'm going to get killed in the insanity that is my family. The only bright side is that the girls, mom, and apparently someone else who won't try to kill someone are coming next week after we settle in.

Now I'm on the plane, the flight attendants keep giving us dirty looks but have so far left us in piece. Aww man. Reborn just dumped a twenty-page packet of English to Japanese translation that I have to do…Well I hope my uploader gets this to you soon

-Scared for my life

Tsunayoshi Sawada


	2. Flight Attendants And Leons And

A/N: Glad that at least one person has read it so far. I hope I get more reviews and stuff for my first story...And no Flames. The chapters will get longer; I just wanted to get the first two chapters out quickly. Yay first reviewer –Hugs Moonray-

Mukuro: Whoo Whoo

Lambo: Chicken! *drool*

Chrome: Don't eat Mukuro!

Mukuro: *Yawn* What now…

Gokudera: That's not even a chicken, it's an owl you stupid cow.

Lambo:…Nani?

Mukuro:...I'm going back to sleep

Yamamoto: -Stands in front of large chase centered around an owl- Rotrum does not own anything and all that stuff. If he did, he'd probably be in Japan and have more money than he does.

Tsuna: Is Vongola Italian for Chaos?

**Chapter Two**

**Flight Attendants and Leons and Leopards, Oh My!**

The rest of the plane ride was anything but good. First of all, remember those terrorists that Reborn sold Hibari's and Gokudera's tickets to? Yeah they decided to take over the plane a couple minutes after I diligently began to work on my translation homework (Empitsu=Pencil, one of the many translations I did NOT learn from Squalo…) Right now I'm on the car ride to my new home, apparently the only thing that they spared expense for. It better be worth it. Oh yeah, the terrorists…well it went something like this.

The plane was delayed by several hours at this point already, so everyone on the plane, including the pilot and attendants, was extremely pissed off, annoyed, and/or asleep. It was almost night time by this time, and the pilot dimmed all the lights almost all the way. Most of the people were asleep while I had to work on translations. I was one of the few people who saw the flight attendant wrapped in gauze like a mummy and duct taped to the ceiling, I mean really what kind of binding is that?

After that the two began systematically mummifying and taping the flight attendants to the ceiling without making a sound. I swear Reborn must have dealt them "Mild Sedatives" because the flight attendants didn't move or scream once. In fact, during this time Reborn was no where to be seen during all of this and I seriously thought that he was working behind the scenes to capture an airplane and kill us all to take out America.

I can't believe that no one was awake for this, and the only one alert enough to be awoken by this silence and beat the crap out of the terrorists while groggy without waking anyone up was currently stuffed into a suitcase and "Mildly Sedated." After that they took over the pilot's cabin and for some weird reason piloted the plane on the right path for another hour without a hitch.

Where was I during this? Trying to get Ryohei off of my shoulder. He talks in his sleep…about boxing, among…other things. After an hour of struggling under the weight of his head, he finally said "KYOUKUGEN!" (A/N: Extreme) and punched the ceiling of the airplane-putting a hole in our air conditioner and inevitably costing us a lot of money.

I quickly ran over this, rolled over him, and got into the aisle. With my fantastic natural luck, one of the flight attendants dropped from the ceiling and squished me for five more minutes-at least she was sedated and a lot lighter than Ryohei. So after that I sneaked up to the pilot's cabin, dodged three more falling flight attendants, got hit in the head with the book of a sleeping woman, and got smacked by Chrome's trident while she was asleep.

After that I poked my head into the pilot's cabin, where the two terrorists where eating birthday cake while there was a large glowing button that said "Auto-pilot" signifying it's on-ness there. So I left the cabin and thought about what to do, and I went to wake my guardians.

Chrome hit me with her trident again, so I left her alone. Afterwards Yamamoto rolled over and started cuddling his sword, Lambo threw an explosive at me and went back to sleep. It was a good thing he forgot to pull out the pin in his sleepiness. At that point I just gave up and looked for Reborn.

He dropped from the ceiling, kicked me into the ground and whisper-told me to go to sleep. After whisper arguing with each other for a while about terrorists he eventually kicked open the door of the pilot's cabin and stared down the partying terrorists. They pulled out guns.

This is when things got crazy. Leon began multiplying until there was more Leon in the cabin then there was cabin. Then the Leons simultaneously became guns all aimed at the terrorists. Needless to say we rescued the plane, captured two back-stabbed terrorists in strange green Leon-binding, and Reborn injected me with "Mild Sedative" to get me to sleep because, of course, tomorrow is a weekday.

I am completely and entirely sure that something worse could have happened, and maybe it did. I've never been happier to be drugged involuntarily with a suspicious substance that was probably dealt to terrorists and came from Mafia relations. Because the next morning when I asked Reborn about the terrorists, he said he had no clue what I was talking about and kicked me into a wall for "Being random and Dame-Tsuna"

So it's early morning now, I bet my handwriting is a mess since I'm still under that weird drug's effects. They're giving me only one hour to get all my stuff together after I get to our new home before I have to go to school. I swear Reborn is trying to work me to death, I wonder how Ryohei and Yamamoto can still have any energy…Oh, we're here.

Sorry about that messy handwriting…I cant' even remember what I was trying to write. All I know is that this house is a mansion in the middle of the suburbs. You could probably room the First Family in here without any complaints…It must be as big as a Mafia's house.

-Excited, for once (Hopefully not the last)

Tsunayoshi Sawada

P.S. Now that I've begun unpacking in my room, I have about half an hour before I have to get to my new school along with everyone else. When Hibari wakes up I bet he'll be pissed he's away from Namimori...If he kills someone then I am going to pretend I don't know him. I doubt the Mafia can protect him across the globe.

I bet this school year is going to be horrible, even the name, the _Larn Farm Leopards_. Who thinks of this stuff! Anyways, I better get ready so I'm not-AAAGH. I think Hibari just woke up…I heard the sound of exploding luggage (You can never forget that once you hear it) I better go hide…

Well, I hope you enjoyed Chapter Two Ver. II. Chapter Three will be out eventually. It'll gradually get longer, for sure.

I'll take any ideas of characters and OCs to introduce or events into consideration

Read and Review, but no flames please. My first story, don't want it to go down in...Flames. -Shot for redundency-


	3. Leopards are Blue, Americans are Insane

I'm glad I got some reviews, although by the same two people. As I said before, I'm making my chapters longer. But I'm also probably going to procrastinate alot. This is mostly introductory so I hope you don't leave cause you think it's boring.

I made chapter Two longer, for those who hadn't noticed. I wish I knew how many people liked this, I'd hope more than two...

Ryohei: KYOOOUKUGEEEN. ROTRUM OWNS NOTHING KYOUKUGEEN

Mukuro: Oh shut up...

**Leopards are Blue, Americans are Insane, I have a good feeling there's gonna be a lot of pain...**

I'm on the bus to school now. It's…beyond description so I'll start with this morning. After I hid, there was another explosion that was five hundred times more powerful. It literally shook the mansion and caused a girl next door to scream "MOMMY, EARTHQUAKE," to which the mom yelled out, "SHUT UP IT'S TOO EARLY TO COMPLAIN" and I'm pretty sure they all went back to sleep.

Around this time is when I realized the first explosion was Gokudera and his dynamite, and the second one must have been Hibari. There was a lot of yelling and you could hear metal crashing against metal. Eventually I just heard a thud and when I went outside my room and looked over the railing, sure enough, Reborn was holding a large syringe that was bigger than he was, and Hibari was lying on the floor with some blood streaming from his arm.

Somehow Reborn noticed me and called out, "It's just Mild Sedative Dame-Tsuna! Finish unpacking. Oh, and Hibari will still be going to school today."

Somehow Reborn could turn every day into a living Hell, one way or another. It was a talent I would NOT have chosen in my Katekyou (Home Tutor.) With a sigh I finally went to unpacking, luckily I had a prepacked backpack waiting for my downstairs so I didn't have to worry about that. So when the time came, I ran downstairs and went to get my backpack. Then I noticed my backpack was the size of Ryohei, and it was heavy…and Pink.

"Fits you, doesn't it dame-Tsuna?" Reborn said far too happily for my own good, "Now go, you're gonna be late. This'll help make you stronger too!"

Now I'm at the third row of the bus, hiding at the window-side of my seat and using my large freakish pink backpack as a shield. There was more paper, and saliva, being used here than the China made in a day. And they invented Paper, although not saliva…I think. There is a war going on in here.

Let me start this way. Categories 101!

The Jocks: They're sitting in the back with whatever guy or girl they consider hot while wearing gym clothes, in late November. They're wearing the school colors of Blue, White, and Yellow. I swear I thought it would be red at first. They are sitting, laughing, making out, and Arcobalenos know WHAT else back there while they command their minions, the Cool.

The Cool: They feed off the popularity of the jocks by doing whatever they are told to and making idiotic remarks just to hang out in a large group of the same person that don't really like them. They are currently firing everything that is physically possible to the front and the middle-including spitballs, rocks, and…I don't even know where they get some of this stuff…I swear I just heard an explosion.

The Mean Girls: These girls are so cruel that anyone with a social life refuses to be on her bad side. Therefore, they have the most power in the end, but they pretend they don't. I bet they started this war.

The Nice Girls: These girls are future humanitarians corrupted by the Mean Girls because they were friends with them since they were little. If they hit someone, they would call 911 right after. They probably don't condone this war, and are laughing in their own little worlds where they've convinced themselves there is universal peace.

The Popular: These people are just so ridiculously charismatic that no matter what their personality is like, they can worm their way into the popular group of the school even if they came on the last day of school. They're slinging any object they can find, just like the Cool-but just cause as a group they wanna see suffering.

The Nerds: They are usually smarter than any of the above groups, and usually excel at one part of school. Bookworms, Avid studiers, they all end up in this categories. Right now they've constructed walls of textbooks and are firing peas through peashooters, I don't know how that's effective…

The Hidden Geniuses: These guys are the people who get A's in school even though they hate work and sleep through classes. They treat the teachers like crap and in the end still breeze through school. I swear, they are catching the items thrown at them from the air and throwing them right back at the jocks…

The Goths and Emos: I don't know much about these guys, I do know that no one has yet dared to throw anything into their area.

Non-Straight: Pansexuals, Homosexuals, Transsexuals, they all fit into this category. They are squished into them middle on purpose and I feel sorry for them, they're getting the full brunt of the war from both sides.

Hackers and Dealers: These are similar to hidden geniuses but they don't get attacked either. They are far too shady for anyone to want to deal with…

That's all that I've noticed in the past five minutes on the bus. Five Minutes. And I have all of those stereotypes matched. I wonder what school will be like. Unfortunately, this bus ride is an hour long…

(A/N: Since there is a break in Tsuna's writing here, I thought I'd like to give points to all those who get the above reference. There will not a be a categories 102, however)

Well, I made it to school alive, and somehow this backpack is perfectly clean and tidy. Reborn must have made it with Leon somehow to make it so I'd have to show the shame and be unable to change it forever…In other news, our bus is now being sent off to a carwash with all the windows open…forty two times.

I'm in First Period now, Geometry. The teacher is droning on about something that I, for once, actually know. Therefore I decided to fill you in. She's Latina and apparently she's from New York. Her name is Mrs. Sabatino, although some students call her Mrs. Satin. I don't know why yet, but she seems nice enough so far. She talks a lot for teaching and then makes everyone do all sorts of work. I have Gokudera, who has somehow already finished all of his math review and probably knows all of this, Chrome, who's probably feeding off Mukuro's brainwaves for information, Ryohei, who's staring at our teacher as if she were chanting a spell to summon the devil, and Hibari, who is mildly sedated, in this class. I really wonder how Hibari even got here if he's knocked out.

Second Period Gym, but right now we're doing Health. The course is almost over, so then I'll have to take Gym. For now I'll enjoy learning about…Drugs and dealers. I have a funny feeling that Reborn is one of those…and probably half the family that I'm going to be forced into inheriting. The teacher is Mrs. Briggs. She is the most relaxed teacher ever…right now she and the students are discussing what happens if you get caught by the police while smoking marijuana or something like that. Completely off topic and slowly getting farther from it. She also happens to be chewing gum and blowing bubbles in the middle of class. I'm going to enjoy the rest of this course, strangely enough. In this class I have Ryohei and Yamamoto, who are both bored to death waiting for real gym to start, and the sleeping Hibari. I have a feeling Reborn put Hibari in all my classes on purpose

Third Period is Spanish, because clearly people expect me to learn both English and Spanish and be fluent in both of them very quickly. I swear, Reborn probably did this on purpose in hopes that I'd learn Italian quicker. My teacher is really strict looking, but she sent me off into the corner to do review. How am I supposed to know what this stuff is! I don't even get a dictionary! Shimatta. Someone just chucked a dictionary at my head. Right now Basil (When did he get here?), Gokudera, and the STILL sleeping Hibari are here. So basically, they all have advantages because Hibari can threaten Mrs. Arking and the other two know Italian. I don't know how Hibari can be more punctual than me if he's asleep…

Now it's Free period, which isn't a real period since it's only 18 minutes long. Half of the people are studying things they probably already know fifteen thousand times over. A quarter of the class is ditching, and the last quarter is playing cards in the corner. Hell, the teacher is part of the quarter that's ditching. Sigh…I guess I better start doing some of this English review…and some of this Spanish review…and Math…and Health…In 12 minutes. All five of my guardians are here, as if Reborn expects me to get attacked on my first day in a span of 18 minutes.

Fourth Period with Mrs…I don't even know how to pronounce nor write that. She's Indian, she's really nice, and currently she doesn't even have classwork…except for me because I had to review. Luckily this is the same classroom as my free period, so there isn't much walking. It seems that's the case a lot since those same people are playing cards in the corner. Lets see…Umm…I'll be back after I get a Science textbook…Okay so I have no idea what any of this is, the only language in the glossary other than English is SPANISH. Oh, and Gokudera, who has, again, somehow done all his work and is currently berating the card players about how to properly win at Scum/President, Chrome is still feeding off Mukuro's brain, and Yamamoto is writing really fast but I'm sure if he knows what he's writing. Hibari is still sleeping…

Fifth Period Mrs. Heatwore…I feel sorry for her husband, who had to use that name his entire life. Science review is hard. But this is worse. We're in American History, which I know absolutely nothing about…at all. On top of that I have tons of review AND classwork. How am I supposed to know how the United States were founded? I'm from JAPAN. Reborn is probably going to expect me to know about Italy's foundations next…Oh yeah, who's in my class? Basil and Gokudera, the two people with the most worldly experience. And Hibari is still sleeping, I really question how mild that sedative is…

Lunch. If only Reborn had given me some money. So I'm pretty much stuck doing all this review. On top of that I still have two more periods left in the day. Eight Grade in America is evil. Pure Evil. And that is coming from someone who had asian teachers previously.

Tech Ed. Well, apparently, since I came mid-project and since It is completely and entirely impossible to finish in time, I basically get a free period. Somehow Ryohei has already gotten past everyone else and is currently waiting for the paint to dry on his CO2 Car. He is using that time to nag me into trying to start my car. Hibari is sleeping on the Power Sander…I don't know how safe that is but I'm not touching him. This class has the only male teacher I have, Mr. Poe. Shouldn't he be an English teacher?

Seventh Period English, and the last class of the day. I have no idea what I'm doing in this class, and, of course, Gokudera and Basil are here and they know exactly what they're doing. Hibari is…sleeping on the ceiling of the portable we're in. I'm not going to question how that's possible. Mrs. Whirter teaches this class, she is so ridiculously nice. She was all smiley and offering help when she dumped 10 pounds of papers that I had no idea what they said onto my desk.

Now I'm back on the bus and I'll stop writing for the day because I am half-dead, have homework equivalent to my new mansion's weight, and I have a feeling someone stuffed Hibari in my backpack, cause it's snoring. And before you ask, yes I'm hiding behind my massive pink backpack that everyone laughs at me about as they are throwing projectiles at eachother.

**No Flames or I will inject you with mild sedative and then stick you in the middle of the bus! And then you'll have stains you'll never get out! Mwahahaha!**


	4. Tsuna in

**EDIT: I know I have a lot of typos, ignore them. For Sirlai's comment, I forgot to mention something. This takes place before the Future Arc and after the Varia Arc. Which is why Tsuna did not know Spanner. Sirlai. I will post this again next chapter if I remember for those who have laready read this one**

Eight Reviews...Better than none~. Plus I have story alerts spamming my E-Mail (If only this was not an exaggeration). Had trouble uploading this chapter, so be grateful –suddenly begins losing readers-

And Yes, this story is based on my real life and inspiration is entirely from his classmates who could probably be in a Reality Sitcom (Which are opposites...)

Quote of the day: "There are two things I know to be infinite, the Universe and human stupidity, and I'm not quite sure about the former."

Messsage/Advice of the day: Read Temporarily Technicality and Hitsugaya's Guide to High School, my inspirations to write down stories about my not-entirely-sane school.

A=B

A^2=AB

A^2-B^2=AB-B^2

(A+B)(A-B)=B(A-B)

A+B=B

2B=B

2=1

That is all.

Hibari: *Sleeping on the floor*

Tsuna: Nani! He's still sedated in this chapter!

Yamamoto: Let him sleep, maybe he's tired

Tsuna: I don't think that's it…

Spanner: Ohaiyou gozaimasu~

Tsuna: Spanner!...it's 11 PM…

Mukuro: Ku Fu Fu. Ku Fu Fu, no fuuu~

Tsuna: Why is Mukuro singing!

Hibari: Herbivore…

Tsuna: Shimatta! –runs-

Spanner: Rotrum owns nothing. If he owned us he would be richer…and quite likely a corpse in the middle of an archipelago, slowly being affected by radiation.

**Tsunayoshi in…WTF-Land**

So after that hectic first day at LFL, also known as the Hell on Earth that Reborn sent me to and probably bribed his way into-7^3 knows what happened to all the money he's intent on saving back up. So anyways, the five of us, plus Basil whose appearance here is a mystery, all got off the bus in time to watch it crash into a tree. For once in my life I almost felt lucky until a random piece of shattered glass hit me in the shoulder and stuck there until Gokudera pulled it out. After that Gokudera pulled out a bunch of bandages and wrapped my shoulder so well that I couldn't move my arm anymore and my freakishly large and pink backpack fell. Luckily it was still snoring, so if it really was Hibari in there I would have been safe anyways! (For once.) Afterwards the bus drove on in its happy little way.

Anyways, after that incident Ryohei decided to lift my backpack (with one hand, no less) and sprint off in the direction of our mansion. On that note, I'd like to say that our mansion is a couple miles away because no one else lives in that neighborhood, or neighboring neighborhoods. I swear, Reborn did that on purpose. And I repeat, just for that purpose of making me walk so much he spent 7^3 knows how much. So Ryohei is sprinting like five miles to a mansion from a bus stop at like a hundred miles per hour. With a large pink backpack that may or may not contain a blood-sucking vampire named Hibari in it. Okaaay then…

So some time before I noticed and after we got off the bus Chrome disappeared in a large smoke cloud shaped like an owl-which was floating in the air like a mushroom cloud. On top of that Basil started jumping on people's roofs ad then he disappeared off into the distance. Well after all of that finally came to pass, some guy whose roof Basil must have jumped on came out with a baseball bat. He began screaming at Yamamoto, Gokudera, and I. I think Yamamoto completely missed the point because he was talking about the baseball bat. Gokudera overestimated the point and threw eight explosives at the guy. All he managed to say before disappearing in one of those weird sparkly anime-things was "I'm blasting off again!"

After that we had a walk. A long walk. A long walk that Reborn planned all along. I know all you readers probably think I'm being paranoid, but after several cars almost hitting me, a lamp post almost crushing my foot, a building collapsing within ten inches of me, and a rabid squirrel breaking its teeth on my shoulder-bandage, I think I'm right to be paranoid. Maybe. Or at least, it was a maybe until a guy dressed in black came and shot me in the shoulder. Thanks to Gokudera's bandages, it bounced off and hit the guy, causing him to run away crying. Some tough macho mafia man.

Anyways so eventually we finally made it home. To our Mansion. In the suburbs. Have I mentioned how insanely large it is? It's almost big enough to fit all my homework. Almost. Guess when the due date is? Friday, December 3, 2010. Which gives me about four days to get caught up in all of my classes in two languages I don't understand while dealing with classes, new work, AND my Family. Frankly, I don't know which part is the worst one. I already have a papercut.

So I got home, Reborn jumped on my head and pulled me face-flat on the ground, and asked why I was so late. Hibari was sleeping upside-down on the ceiling like in English class, except this time he was hanging by his feet like a bat. Ryohei was punching a bag filled with what I assumed to be homework. On the floor was an empty petition to start a boxing club at LFL, I'm sure that by tomorrow he'll have charisma'd his way into having seventeen sheets of that petition and have done none of that homework crinkling under his blows. Chrome was still missing but he backpack was hanging on a hook, so I assumed she was here. I have a good feeling she's flirting Mukuro right now and stealing his acquired knowledge so she doesn't have to study. I guess when you're suspending in a liquid prison you can't do much else than learn. Basil was no where to be found, and I really do wonder why he was there at school in the first place. Maybe they had go Hyper Dying Will and forced him to run across the ocean and then the country to save money. They seem to be doing that a lot. Lambo was Chasing I-pin across the ceiling, I honestly hope they don't touch Hibari or wake him up, or else we're probably going to be seeing an episode of the hit medical drama "I'll bite you to death, Gamao, Broccoli Monster!" The only reason it's a medical drama is because if it took place anywhere else there would be liability issues-then again it IS an Asian drama. Yamamoto ran upstairs with his stuff and Gokudera stretched and started playing piano in the living room. What was I doing? Still bleeding face-first on the floor, thank you very much.

So after that I plunged myself into Homework, got many, many paper cuts, and was forced by Reborn to work straight from when I got home at Five (School ends at 2:40, Wait for our incredibly late and slow Bus, and then walk five miles) Until 12:30 A.M. in Maryland time. With no Dinner. Then he woke me up at Four A.M and forced me to work, pack my papers into my backpack, and almost eat breakfast. I didn't have enough time between packing and working. So then at 5 I had to go jogging five miles with everyone to catch our bus stop at 6:20-I had less than 80 minutes to go 5 miles and if I failed I would have to walk five miles back.

We made it only because when I fainted from exhaustion, Basil appeared again and carried me to the bus stop. At this point Ryohei and Yamamoto had already gone ahead and were probably waiting at the bus stop. I woke up on the bus with no energy and my giant pink backpack next to me. Stupid hour long bus ride.

**~Ohlook, I just got here and we have a project…great~**

I'm in Math Class now, and guess what? We have a project. And I need to complete it on time. In one month. On top of all my other work. Isn't life great? If I heard correctly, it's only drawing stuff, so I don't need to worry about writing. But I don't know if I'll be able to do anything, cause I'll probably straing my arms to death from doing all the other work I need to do.

I'll probably get Tendonitis…and then Reborn will keep forcing me to work my fingers to the bone. Literally. He was planning it from the start! I'M SURE OF IT. *A-hem* Anyways, Mrs. Sabatino is talking about congruent triangles and why ASS doesn't work, but ASA and SAS and SSS all work. America is weird, they're teaching us about Asses in math class.

Anywaaays. Time for Categories 102! (A/N:…) in the Math classroom. Today I sat in the middle-right-back of the room, at an empty table. People here seem to shift everyday, like Ryohei trying to figure out a puzzle. I'm going to put all the stereotypes in the school into perspective by eavesdropping. (A/N: And this is why Tsuna fails in school)

Quiet girls in the corner: They're those girls who aren't exactly really nice or really mean to everyone. They just keep to each other and when confronted they either politely find a way to excuse themselves, or say something rude and storm off while you think of a comeback. They're a small fraction of the school, and there happens to be a table of five of them in the corner whispering quietly the entire class.

And, of course, they're mostly Asian girls. There is a tall nice white girl there whose voice is the loudest, her name is Noah. The other four are Asian girls who whisper about math-among other things-throughout the class. Since I need to complete fifty tons of review, I can afford to pay more attention to my surroundings, just to inform you people that I don't know that may or may not be agents of Reborn who are out to make my life harder and harder. These girls aren't as bright as they play themselves off as, and I don't any individual one of them understands what we do in class and they all work together.

Stalkers/Creepers/Generally annoying people: Yes, there are people like this in places other than in jail or possessing innocent little Japanese girls with pineapple hair. I added this subject because of two specific people in this class that were worthy of mentioning. And for the sake of continuing my Categories, they are now a category. The first one is some Indian guy named Ohm. Today he walked up to me, and pretty much told me my old address in Japan, what school I went to, and what grades I got. He promptly told me where I currently lived, my locker combination, and all my phone numbers. Then he walked away. I feel disturbed. There is also this white guy, Joseph. Most people don't even look at him, and when I said he in reply to him, he decided that was basis for a conversation. He bombarded me with five minutes of Star Trek, School stuff that even I know, all while I wrote about girls. I had to wait until he went back to his seat before writing this.

That's it for first period's Categories 102. I better start doing actual work in the last ten minutes…Oh and you probably wanna know about my guardians. Well, Gokudera has currently finished all his class work and is writing sheet music next to me while humming the tune of his music. Chrome is writing things down like a crazy person, I don't even know what she's writing because it's in Italian. Mukuro must be causing it! Ryohei is being hit on/"Tutored." So far he's broken thirty-tw…Three pencils. Hibari is still "Mildly Sedated." On the floor. Someone tried to wake him up and they almost got hit by a tonfa moving at 42 miles per…minute. He went back to sleep. In other news, my teacher expects me to finish my make-up work by Friday. In three days. I guess that's why she's Mrs. Satin…

**~Oh, the wonders of the American legal system~**

Well, our teacher, the wonderful Mrs. Briggs, continues to show her knowledge about everything that doesn't involve Health. Continuing off of yesterday's conversation due to someone wanting know more, we somehow ended up talking about how breaking into someone's house could be a huge legal battle. She started off by telling us how if you cut yourself when you smash through their window to rob their house of something, you can get sued for breaking and entering. Then she told us we could sue back for damage by their property. We can also sue if we get attacked by their pets, and their pets have to be put down. We continued by saying that, in theory, you could waltz into someone's house, tell them you are going to kill their family and show them your pistols, and if he touched you, you can sue him for assault. He can sue you for murder of his family, but at least you get some compensation. Oh the wonders of the American Legal System.

Trisexuals: This basically means they'll "Try Anything." The includes "Try to make everyone feel awkward by asking sexual questions they actually need to know anonymously during class." Our teacher has a ballot system where she answers written questions. This is abused horribly. There is a group of people, mostly jocks and popular, who are just sitting in the back stifling laughs while Mrs. Briggs neutrally explains how you can't get pregnant from Oral sex, there is a possibility in Anal Sex, a greater possibly in normal intercourse. Today specifically, she talked about how two woman can't get each other pregnant, and why. Right now…she's explaining why guys can't get each other pregnant either. In detail. I wonder why Yamamoto seems interested.

As I said, Yamamoto is intently listening to Mrs. Briggs about the trisexual questions. So moving on, Ryohei is as knocked out as Hibari is. Hibari is sleeping vertically. On the wall. On top of a poster of female human anatomy. Class is halfway over but I don't think I'll be writing anything for the rest of the period.

**~Se prohibe Chifflar!~**

Twenty minutes into Spanish and I'm stuck looking up words and grammatical terms from Japanese to English to Spanish. English was hard enough to learn language-wise, now I need to be able to read it AND then translate it. To Spanish. I have no idea what the rest of the class is doing or saying except one thing. Mrs. Arking keeps saying "Se Prohibe Chifflar!" Every twenty seconds cause this one kid keeps whistling while he works. He has lunch detention until the end of the year, which is only a month since tomorrow is December First 2010. I keep hearing "Se Prohibe Chifflar!" everyone other minute, I swear she was about to smack him…I think he finally remember…someone else is whistling now. And now he has detention.

Anyways, Hibari is sleeping across three empty desks, still as asleep. I'm not sure if I should be angry or pleased with Reborn about this. I'll say angry just because it's Reborn we're talking about. Basil is actively participating in the class, and I still wanna know when he got here. He walked in talking with this girl dressed in a black cloak, named Enna. I'm confined to this corner to do my Spanish, so I can't really describe anything else. Gokudera is, of course, done with all his Spanish and his sheet music and now is writing lyrics in Spanish and English.

**~We'll all be working for him when he's 15…wait that's not it…Holy Crud it is. ~**

Well now I'm in free period, which is maintaining it's percentages of ditchers, card players, and studiers. I SHOULD be doing all my homework, but, completely in your interest, I will go examine people instead. See how generous I am?

Wall Street Wizards: Well I went closer to watch the guys playing President, and they were talking about stocks. One kid, a short Hispanic guy named Kevin, said he had half a million dollars from the stock market. I thought that was supposed to be crashing right about now. Anyways, he was talking about how he started investing in Underarmor and Verizon years ago or something, and now they're all talking about the stock market and how to get rich, how to examine patterns, and how to get started. I have a feeling in two years we'll be seeing a high school tycoon.

Free Period is just about over, I'm back to doing amount of make-up work I can actually carry with me at one time, and it's time to give you an update on my Family, I guess. Hibari was actually missing the entire 18 minutes, I have no idea where he is. Gokudera and Yamamoto are singing, presumably, what Gokudera spent the last three periods writing. It's a duet called Oretachi no JOY! Chrome is asleep, I have a feeling being used as a satellite station does that to people. Ryohei has punched a whole in the wall and is trying to cover it up via paper and colored pencils. Yup. That's my family.

**~Food Fight. No better way to describe it~**

I was busy doing TONS of work in Science and History, I think I ALMOST put a dent in my hundredth of my workload. Almost. In other news, there is currently food flying above my head and I'm underneath a table with my journal and Gokudera. I can hear the teachers screaming at the students as they sling potatoes and cheese burgers and whatever they brought from ho-Another explosion. I swear, these kids keep bringing explosives here. Someone is gonna get killed. Or Gokudera will murder them.

Yamamoto is standing on top of our table and cutting flying food into pieces. With a metal ruler. I swear if this lasts any longer, Gokudera is going to start blowing people up just so I can have what's left of my half of a cheese burger. Chrome used illusions to leave the cafeteria already. Ryohei is probably punching food out of the air, but I wouldn't know because Gokudera won't let me out form under this table "For my own safety"

I hear Hibari's voice over the loudspeaker now…Okay I stuck my head out of the table and everyone is frozen. Hibari is standing at the cafeteria entrance with his tonfas out, wearing a Nanimori Disciplinary Committee arm band…And an LFL Disciplinary Committee armband. I swear, even the food has stopped mid-air because they're all scared of Hibari.

And Hibird is flying around singing the Nanimori School Song while dropping afterschool detentions on random people. I have a good feeling the reign of the disciplinary Committee has begun…

**~The teacher's assisstent~**

Well I'm in Sixth Period technology with Mr. Poe now. Since I've been excused from the project, I get to do absolutely nothing all period and I was pretty relieved about that. Until Reborn popped out of a compartment of the wall next to me, waved, and then closed the wall. I feel stalked.

This guy just walked in, he looks about seventeen or eighteen and he had blond hair and a lollipop sticking out of his mouth. He's also carrying a wrench. Interesting…Mr. Poe introduced him to me as his teacher's assistant, who comes in every now and then. His name is Spanner. He gave me a lollipop, and walked off to help people paint their CO^2 cars correctly. With a wrench. I don't know how that works but Ryohei is currently racing by himself. His car is going at over two hundred miles per hour and you can hear him yelling "KYOUKUUGEEN" in the hallways. I'm just going to assume Hibari is beating up the students that started the food fight right now.

**~Swastika 101~**

So today I walked into my class, waved to Basil and Gokudera, and then I sat in my assigned seat at the front-right of my classroom, by the teacher's desk. I've just put my stuff down and it's about halfway through the class. I'm trying my best to understand all this grammar and stuff, but I have a good feeling I'm going to fail miserably. What on Earth is a Semicolon and why do I need to use it!

…I just noticed something. On my desk someone had been practicing drawing Swastikas. There are about twenty bad swastikas on the sides of the desk, then in the middle there is a huge perfect one, with smaller perfect ones on the inside of it. They're drawn in pen. On my desk. Weird.

And, of course, the Jewish guy who sides on seat to the left and one seat to the back from me, Jason, has noticed them as well. And, of course, I've been writing stuff down. I'm trying to tell him I did not draw the stupid Nazi symbols while writing this down…And OOOOF COURSE Mrs. Whirter decides to intervene after a three minutes of him yelling at me.

...Apparently her seventh graders are reading The Diary of Anne Frank, and she wanted her students to get more into the mindset of the 1930/40s. Therefore she told all her students to draw Swastikas. I'm sure Reborn snuck in and drew these just to cause this controversy. One Hundred Percent Sure.

Wow. The guy two seats to the left and one seat back, Antares just asked how you even draw a Swastika. And the guy next to me, Kyle, is actually showing him how to draw a Swastika. And everyone in the classroom is now talking about Swastikas. And now Jason is trying to show Antares how to draw a Swastika.

Excuse me, the Insanity is getting to me, I think I'm going to stop writing now…

-Hearing a lot about Swastikas

Tsunayoshi Sawada

P.S: Swastikas are Indian.

**So, what do you all think? I hope you like it. I hope you review. I hope I can get myself to stop saying Hope so much. **

**Remember, I'll take any ideas into consideration on my story; I don't need to only write the stories that happen in MY school. **

**Also, what do you, my fans (I hope), think I should do with our main character? TsunaX(Ten Years Younger)!Spanner, or TsunaXKyoko(Who will appear on Sunday story-time). I'll keep this vote running for a while and throw a reference in favor of the current vote majority every now and then.**

**NO FLAMES, Or I will break into your house, hurt myself, and Sue you! And then I'll force you to work under a half-millionaire 13 year old at minimum wage! MWAHAHA.**


	5. Do I dare disturb my Family?

I had a lot of trouble posting this, and for a time I had trouble logging in…and I had inspiration issues…Point is that I probably would not have been able to post this chapter within the week if not for some interesting things happening at school.

Sirlai I know I have a lot of typos, ignore them. For Sirlai's comment, I forgot to mention something. This takes place before the Future Arc and after the Varia Arc. Which is why Tsuna did not know Spanner.

Sadly, my parents are beginning to get more strict about stuff, so future chapters may take EVEN LONGER to come out. Sorry and I hope you're patient.

I seem to do a lot of exaggerating. Do you guys think that's a good thing or a bad thing?

Have a personal story or a request or a prompt? Tell me and I'll see if I can work it in.

Ten reviews, and favor goes towards SpannerXTsuna. Interesting.

Quote of the Day: "I do not wish to achieve immortality through my work, I wish to achieve it through not dying"

Political Corner: "People watch the news in this country for laughs and comedians for Social Commentary" –Based on the outcry about the boy with pink toenails. Toema-freaking-Geddon. Who cares that a five year old boy's favorite color is pink and he wears nail polish? It's not an issue. Look at tough-guys who wear studs, girly rockers, tomboys, and Emos. Don't yell at the poor woman ya LBGT-Phobics!

Message/Advice of the Day: Uhh…Simple Plan, The Fray, and Sum 41 are Awesome bands (I will have something more inspiring next time…hopefully)

42.

That is all.

Bel: Ushishishi~

Fran: Bel-Sempai, can I remove the mink from my neck?

Bel: Ushishi. Nope~.

Fran: *Pulls a knife from back and stabs it into the Mink before pulling it off and throwing it away*

Bel: Na..Nani…-Faints-

Fran: *Ends Illusion and walks off*

Yamamoto: It was nice seeing you~

Gokudera: What…on Earth?

Hibari: You're Late! SUSPENDED!

Tsuna: Hi-Hibari-san…It's the weekend.

Hibird: Lalala~ Nanimori~ Rotrum no own-y~ Lalala~. No own-y any~ Thingy~ *Chirps*

**Do I dare disturb my Family?...No chance in Hell.**

Well, I figured that it would be a good place to end the entry earlier (Well..that, and the fact that I was begin surrounded by ravenous talk about the Nazis and I think there was a fight some time after I fainted and before I was slapped by Gokudera. Right now I'm leaning against a support pillar for a covered walkways outside my school, waiting for our terminally late bus and its punctuality impaired driver (I sound soo smart right?). I figured she wouldn't get here for a while, so I'll fill you in on what goes in the life in the halls of LFL.

So, as soon as I got out of my English Portable (They can't even afford a large building, its smaller than my house!), which is a trailer with school supplies in it outside of our school if you didn't know, I got trampled. Utterly trampled. You see, there is a wooden walkway connecting all the portables, and this wooden walkway happened to be three and a half inches wide. Therefore, I got run over until Gokudera threw a smoke bomb into the crowd and next thing I knew were outside, next to the portables. Thank goodness for Japanese Smoke Bombs.

Afterwards I had to argue with Gokudera for a few minutes on whether or not I needed a full body cast. Apparently he had the materials for one on him because he offered to put me in one NOW. And while we argued…well..

Categories 103 Time.

Gangster-Wannabes, Tough-Guys, Overly-Violent Idiots, Posers, Etc: Not sure if everywhere has these, but they seem to be common in large cities, and anywhere where the juvenile legal system is loose. So while Gokudera and I were arguing, a group of white guys in black clothing started smoking behind the school within our sight. One of them actually had a fake gun, you could see clearly, even from our distance, that it was about as real as their toughness.

One of them was trying to sharpen a knife against the brick wall of the school. I don't know if you guys know much about sharpening knives, but clearly that guy didn't. He ended up with a dull knife which he threw a a tree, it missed and hit the soft plywood of the wooden walkway's support frame…but it was so dulled that it bounced off and almost hit Gokudera.

So at around the time I started winning the argument, a black guy walked over to the smokers, beat them all up in a 3.5 second long fight, stole their drugs, and walked off to who-knows-where. He was about 4'8" and he was wearing a bright orange hoodie. I have nothing to say to this. At all. Although "Hell hath no Fury" comes to mind.

So after that argument, we walked inside, and we ran into a group of Quiet Girls in the Corner. They were, of course, all asian. There was silence for a couple seconds before one stepped forward, "Umm..Hello. I'm Mary Axeul…Can you be our personal Scanlators?" She said in a deathly whisper.

"Uhh..No?" I replied, not beign the best at English. As soon as I said that, the entire group of Asian girls began running in all directions in the blink of an eye, Gokudera were abandoned.

So we kept walking down the hall and we noticed a crude door punched into the wall, it looked like it was broken from the wall and then put into a hinge. On the door were big red letters that said "PANIC" and beneath it was "LFL Disciplinary Committee Office." Needless to say, we ran out of that hallway quickly. With that oddity cleared, we parted ways to go to our lockers on opposites sides of the building, which Reborn probably did on purpose. To keep me form begin safe. Because he is Reborn.

So well…Umm…the hallways were still crowded at this point, and I got lost several times in all the bodies because, as a I said earlier, this school is very small. The Hallways are not much bigger than the wooden walkway. But I think I'll tell you some of the things I heard in the halls while I was searching for my locker. "In Soviet Russia, People in starving. In Capitalist America, People are obese." "Oh Come on! Imagine Kyle's voice on a Pedophile! It fits perfectly" "You're so Cute…Err...I meant...she meant to say that" (Guy to guy, first guy points to random girl) "There, now you can touch it while you talk about it" "Stop touching me there" "Why is there a bite mark?" "It's a love fest in here…" (Remind me never to open the door to a school bathroom)

Other than some fights and…well bad language, I got outside without a hitch. Well, Bus is here.

**~Free, Free at last~**

I'm at home, Reborn just shot me about fourteen times and then repaired me with his sun flames. It hurts. A lot. But there is no damage. When your Katekyou is also your trainer, you can be in trouble. When your Katekyou also happens to be Reborn, you're royally screwed. So he let me have a break from working. And, really I'm just glad I can be alive and not murdered right now. The Bus ride seemed to be in, like, a treaty or something. No one was violent, everyone was just talking. I like the violence better. They were talking so loudly that Gokudera distributed earmuffs. It took me about 40 minutes to realize they were trying to deafen each other. On a 60 minute bus ride.

Well after that painful bus ride, we got off, and Basil continued to jump on people's roofs and be a public nuisance. At least no one came out with a baseball bat this time. Instead it was a gunshot. At least no one bothered to come outside and threaten us this time, I suppose. This time, right as we begun our five mile walk through suburbia, rain began falling from the sky. Rain from a cloudless sky as soon as I take a step. Of course.

Well Gokudera pulled out an umbrella that fit Yamamoto, He, and I, although it was still very wet and damp everywhere. Ryohei didn't mind and ran straight through the rain. In shorts and a sleeveless shirt. Chrome probably went hitchhiking with someone who didn't know they had an invisible girl hitchhiking on him.

Anyways, I have to take a nap for as a long as Reborn will give me, Night.

**~Weirder things have happened~**

Well, this is strange. I had a nice nap yesterday, woke up in sane hours, was carried five miles, and then got on the bus where the ceasefire continued. Strange indeed. All I know is, I won't question it for as long as I possibly can. It was probably something to do with my homework piling up. I have to do work I don't know. And a lot of it. In two days. (Today Is Wednesday). I swear, if you lifted and dropped my homework, you could cause an earthquake that would destroy all of America's Nuclear Reactors. And we all know what happens then.

Everything was perfectly Sane (I know, right?) That is, everything WAS perfectly sane until we entered my school building. It was nearly pitch black, a dim light bulb in each hallway, not even bright enough to see your hand a foot from your face, just bright enough to tell you it existed. Someone bumped into me, it was a male voice that answered when I asked what was going on. Apparently our school is powerless and running on a small generator. A generator the size of Lambo. Sadly, Lambo would make a better generator. In fact, an electric eel baby could do better.

Gokudera walked me to my locker and used a cigarette to light the way (Sadly, it was brighter than the tiny light bulbs) and we went outside into the dark and cloudy morning, and went to First period (Well, he met up with me and I went to Mrs. Sabatino's class first). I turned in roughly a quarter of my math review, which was all I could manage to carry along with all my other stuff. My locker a very precarious stack of papers that could not possibly exist without flooding the entire hallway (Have I mentioned our lockers are 7 feet by 2/3rds of a foot?) if not for Gokudera.

And now we're in Math class. I'd like to note that I tried talking to that Enna girl, who is apparently in this class, but I was entirely and completely ignored by the girl when I tried to ask when Basil got here. Weird. And even weirder, no one else seems to know exactly when he appeared.

Weird.

In other news, the conversation going on right now is about the end of class trip to an amusement park. I guess we can't do much else with one of the lights working (Although it is MUCH stronger than the hall lights combined) and no computer access. We're currently discussing rollercoasters and how if you ride Such and Such, Blah Blah Blah, Times, then you'll black out.

…And now someone is talking about how one time they got him by someone's phone during a loop, and now everyone is bringing up stories about people they heard who lost their cell phones because they brought them on a particularly turbulent ride. Although the teacher says she could hold onto a video camera long enough to shoot a video of the teachers all on a rollercoaster that she posted on Youtube.

In other news, Gokudera folded a rollercoaster out of origami and is showing off. It even moves on it's own. Ryohei is still in the process of being "tutored," and I don't think that is going to stop anytime soon. Hibari happens to be stapling Ohm to the ceiling.

"Remember kids! You are NOT going to the Pentagon, you are going to the Pentagonal Prism!" –Mrs. Sabatino.

**~The curious case of Mrs. Briggs~**

Well, I'm sitting in the corner of a large room with only a feeble hall-way type lightbulb lighting the entire giant room. The teacher is missing. There is a flashlight hanging by a rope from the ceiling that casts a spot light on an area on the ground, where there are words that spell out (Someone had to read it for me..awkward..) "Your teacher is…Away"

People are more preoccupied about the fact that there is a free source of light. I was the first person here (I was scared that Hibari would murder me if I was late) and next came my guardians. Yamamoto and Ryohei decided to go take naps. I swear Hibari turned into a bat and is hanging from the ceiling, cause I didn't see him leave and I can't find him. Then the chaos began.

One of the shortest kids in the grade, Eli, walked in, read the message out loud, and then decided to steal the flashlight. He began stacking chairs and he was about to grab the flashlight when one of his friends walked in, kicked the chairs, and laughed as Eli fell. Which leads me tooo…

Categories 103!

Punching Bags: A sub-faction of the Cool. These people are the ones that take physical abuse and let the jocks and such release their stress (No, I do NOT mean THAT) on them. They have a tendency to have a lot of scabs, bruises, and unusual red spots along their skin. And they're usually short. Like Eli. They feed off the popularity in exchange for being punching bags. These people have no respect from other people and they rarely have any self respect with their "Seniors." They tend to think they are so much better than anyone who is not popular and end up getting beat up against their will as often as by their will.

So the guy, Devon, walks in, kicks the chairs over, and then begins trying to climb the chairs himself. Then more people starting filing in. And…well...I'll just give the current state of affairs.

There is a huge brawl going on underneath the light, they're all just beating eachother up because they want a FLASHLIGHT. I don't know what is wrong with these people. Eli is out cold directly underneath the flash light and being stepped on. I'd feel sorry for him, but I doubt he even wanted to fight back anyways. So yeah, full-on brawl going on, the class is almost over, and Mrs. Briggs is missing. I think I'm the only one who has noticed our teacher's disappearance, sadly.

…Wow. Hibari just dropped form the ceiling, cut the flashlight from the rope with his tonfa, and simultaneously knocked out all the fighting people (So basically all the males in the class) using his chains and taped afterschool detentions onto their clothing. And…My guardian won't give me a flashlight. He says he needs it more for the safety and protection of the school.

And now Mrs. Briggs is walking in…And she doesn't give a damn. Alright then. Moving on.

**~Tales of Frida Kahlo (A/N: Rhymes with Despeareux..sorta.)~**

Now we're studying Frida Kahlo for Culture, I have to pay attention to it instead of working on my review. So now we are all looking at paintings by the woman herself while we hear her life story. Sounds fun, doesn't it? Anyways, since the power is mostly out, we're passing around paintings, Hibari is shining his flashlight on a mirror on the ceiling (Why is that there…?), and Mrs. Arking is reading about Frida off a paper.

This class will probably remain rather boring, so I'll tell you some of the commentary that's been going around about her.

"Frida Kahlo looks like a Man" –George, commenting on Frida Kahlo's Self Portrait. He's a charismatic little kid the size of Eli, but he's so hyper no one would want to attack him. Same kid who can't stop whistling and continues to elicit "Se Prohibe chifflar"s

"THE JONAS BROTHER CURED POLIO!" *Happy Dance* -Rachel, after hearing about how Frida Kahlo had Polio, which was segued into how we have a Vaccine. A vaccine made by someone with the word Jonas in their name somewhere. I don't remember.

"That…is a spider" –George. Again, commenting on a self-portait of Frida's. Isn't he a polite little kid…

"Can we have a field trip at Chipotle's?" –Sam, random comment having to do with Spanish class.

"All students going to the bathroom must be accompanied by a staff member with a flashlight." –The P.A. System, so I guess one of the secretaries said that. That is…really quite disturbing.

**~By the light of the silvery cig~**

Due to Hibari patrolling the halls, there is full attendance of our free period. Except for our teacher. In this room, the only light source is Gokudera's special cigarette. And, because he feels like watching the card game, that's pretty much what everyone is doing. That, or taking a nap. I swear, these guys would have kept playing whether or not they had light.

And, of course, they're still talking about he stock market while they play. Kyle is talking about how if he had half a million dollar,s he would blow it all off on Chipotle's. I guess we know isn't gonna have 500,001 dollars anytime in his life. And the principal needs to hire a therapist for all the Chipotle's addiction going on around here.

I bet Reborn caused this lack of power just to deter my recording of my life while it still lasts. So that I die without a record of myself around. He's probably hiding in the darkness and laughing to himself while keeping his gun pointed on me.

Excuse me while I get eaten by Paranoia.

**~Fires in School for Dummies~**

Our teacher is here now, advising us on how to make a fire in the middle of school so that a murderer clad in black doesn't pop out of nowhere and murder us all. Such a positive teacher. I don't think Hibari would allow that to happen anyways, he'd probably reflect their bullets back into the guy. So yeah, she has a bunch of minerals for our mineral unit later and she is giving us a lesson on rocks so we know which ones to use to generate fire.

"Class, this is Sulfur. Does anyone know what it is used for?"

"..TNT?" Antares said, after thinking about it for a moment.

"Okay…but it's also used in fertilizers…" Came the teacher's response.

You could practically hear the mental facepalming in the darkness of the room.

"Okay now, this rock is flexible"

"Georgia's flexible" Kevin said as soon as the teacher said that, it was dark, but you could hear the entire class staring at him. She replied, "..Excuse me?". "I didn't mean it THAT way…I saw Gloria touch her toes…" Awkward silence ensued until he finished by going "Okay I did mean it that way, Who cares if you can touch your toes?"

More awkward silence ensued.

"Okay Class, now let's learn about Cleavage, Hardness, and Streak" The teacher said, trying to move past the conversation.

Form the darkness came, "Cleavage, Hardness, and streaking? Why isn't this biology?" A rumble of laughter came from the class before one person said, "That would be anatomy." To which a response was heard from somewhere else in the room "Make it health and be done with it."

The laughing was so loud we broke the window. But not by sheer loudness. Gokudera yelled something like "You are hurting Juudaime's fragile ears!" and threw a stick of dynamite at the window. That definitely shut everyone up. It also started that fire we were trying to make. I don't even know why Gokudera is here, he should be in HIS fourth period…

**~Riot~**

Fifth period was mostly boring except for things. One, Gokudera is STILL stalking me to protect me in the darkness, or something like that. Two. A conversation emerged about Biexual people because someone mishead Five Guys and went "Bi Guys?"

Lunch is…a lot more interesting. I'm still being deprived of food. But this time, other people get to share in my misfortune (That's new). Because we have no power, they couldn't cook anything. So everyone who did not bring lunch is starving. And everyone who did bring lunch is in the corner trying to eat while beating back hungry people. Gokudera and Yamamoto are currently beating up people who have lunch because Gokudera says that I need food.

I…am still hiding under a table. Chrome is watching me on Gokudera's commands. Why am I hiding? Because the students who aren't busy beating up people who have lunch, are busy trying to ram down the doors to the kitchen while security beats them back with shoes. I don't know why shoes. But they are fighting back mobs of screaming eighth graders with shoes.

And now I hear an explosion…oh no nevermind that was just the sonic boom of Hibari hitting someone with his tonfa. Everyone is still rioting, but Hibari is currently spinning around with his chains, and as they move farther throughout the room, everyone is getting knocked out by the chains. Ouch there goes a teacher…I think he just incapacitated the entire grade other than us…Oh there 's the bell, I better go now.

**~Had I known, How to Light a School~**

In Tech Ed, Mr. Poe said that we needed to make LEDs light for the school in case we don't have power tomorrow. There were twenty working circuits hung around the room of different kinds, made by the last class. He said it counted for 20% of our grade, but we can work in partners. Gokudera must have been smacked around by Hibari when I wasn't looking or something, cause he isn't following me around anymore.

So I had to make an original design for my circuit that hadn't been used before…And…well...electricity hates me. I was working on my circuit, and I didn't even attach my battery thing yet. And yet, I get electrocuted. No source of electricity, no one else was close (Or at least, I don't think so. It's kinda dark). The capacitator thingy just up and electrocuted me. For Fun.

Ryohei, being the Guardian of the Sun and all, didn't even do anything. He picked up the LED, accidentally brushed against it with his Ring, and it started lighting. It evenwhen he let go it kept begin alight. And it's a blue LED…but it's shinging with a bright Yellow light that was so bright they had to wrap it in five blankets and send it to the office "Where it would be needed the most"

Mr. Poe kept trying to convince Hibari to try to light some LEDs, but Hibari got angry. How angry? He started glowing with a purple SSj-type Aura (I know my anime. Contrary to popular belief) and the five LEDs cklosest to him started glowing bright with purple light before exploding. Therefore, Hibari is excused from this project. And we lost five LEDs somewhere in shard in the walls.

One person decided to blow up their LED and it blew up. And ti cut some of my hair off. OF course. The exploding LED always aims for me…

Things eventually did go well for me though. Spanner walked over to me, seeing that I was having trouble. He walked behind me, gave me a lollipop and put his hands on mine and guided my hands to the right parts…I don't know how long it took, but beforei Knew it my light was bright and shiny and Spanner was walking away in his tight camouflage clothing…

*Next part was not legible*

Umm...Well then…So…Everyone was talking a lot, but a couple lines I found were specifically interesting.

"Mr. Poe! I can't find an LED in this diagram" "Did you look two inches up at the directions?" "There are directions?" Step by Step" "Oh.."

"MY BUTT IS REAL, REAL I TELL YOU!" "MR. POE, SHE IS TRYING TO FILL MY HEAD WITH BAD THOUGHTS!"

**~Screwed up Story Time!~**

Okay, Mrs. Whirter says that because we can't do anything else in this light, she is making the life-lesson/Morality writing assignment due today. I'm excused of course, and it's only one day earlier, but only half of the people have presented their assignments so far, anid I doubt most of the other half has theirs now. I'm just glad I don't have to coherently put English together and make sentences that will probably make as much sense as a baby with a gun. Then again, that DOES happen to be my life…

And…of course the guy behind is writing his right now. I don't even wanna look back to confirm this, I'm just going to scoot my desk up. Unless your school is like this one, or, in fact, your life bears any resemblance to time, you'd scoot away from them too. I looked back once and I saw the guy pointing to Jason and going "I'll write about how love can exist between any two people." "Yeah, well not between you and me" was how Jason responded. This is the point I decided to turn my head and wait for the person sitting at the front of the room.

I'm not exactly sure what the person at the front of the room was talking about, I was rather disturbed when I heard from behind me, "Mrs. Whirter, he's trying to seduce me!" followed by Kyle going, "I think he's very seductive." Then Cam went "I'm gonna shoot you…". Kyle whisper-shouted "I'll Help". The next thing I heard was the resounding sound of a slap (trust me, I know this sound quite well) across the face.

Now this girl, Stacy, is presenting her story. She started off by saying that "The following is not a true story." She is following up by talking about how she saw some guy who looked sixteen or seventeen at a fast food restaurant. At this point Isaac shouted out "They may look sixteen or seventeen, but remember they're really pedophiles!" and…now someone else in the room has gone "Exactly, that is an important life lesson." So, Mrs. Whirter stuck Isaac over here by us.

And he's wearing something attached under his shirt that looks like breasts…Okay then, I would be less disturbed right now if Cam hadn't used the interruption to start giving Kyle a striptease. In the middle of class. Talk about rebounding. Someone said, "What happened to being pissed off about him giving you a striptease last time," which was happily replied with "That was only because he whipped me with a bra. Mrs. Whirter, don't you find Cam very attractive? Anyways, those look so real!" "You can touch them…oh wait nevermind your hands are in your pants..." I'm definitely glad I didn't arrive at this school sooner. I don't think I could handle it on top of my Family.

Uh huh, so Stacy is finished her story up, talking about how two months later she saw the "Look 16-17, but are really pedophiles" guys on the news for rape. It took five minutes of WTFing from the class before she managed to work in that it was not a true story again. Hen she wrapped it up with some stupid Life Lesson that had very little to do with her actual story and all of its lack of credibility.

Now this Asian guy, Eric, is gonna tell his story. So his cousin, apparently, is known for giving up on a lot of things, but at one point he started getting serious in breakdancing and decided to do that (Uhh…) and that he missed this Eric guy's birthday once for it and annoyed him by practicing a lot at his house.

Then he went to college and gave up breakdancing because, and I quote, "So, he learned breakdancing is not as cool as drinking" and the entire class is now laughing. Mrs. Whirter is laughing while trying to, sort of, reprimand him. Then he continued on to say that now his cousin "Now wants to be a doctor…but he's still drinking" and Mrs. Whirter went "Eeric! Is there a point to this story?"

"Umm…Oh yeah, he gave up his dreams and missed my birthday for something he gave up on."

Oh my 7^3. That stripper/insane person Cam is presenting now. I am officially scared. Someone somewhere in the room just told us we would all lose 5-50 IQ points in underr two minutes, I am officially scared. He's starting to talk..."Over the Summer by grandfather had a stroke" So far it isn't that disturbing, but this one girl, Karkly, just broke out in laughter randomly. About an old black man having a stroke. And people say I'm not justified to think my school is insane. She is cracking up like he just just her the funniest joke in the Cworld...everyone's staring at her...And cam is talking again...About how people can do anything they want to with some help and sickness doesn't effect that. It's about as cliche as Stacy's rape story.

Now Kyle is presenting his story. Oh this ought to be interesting. I've got three classes with the guy (Unfortunately) and I question his sanity at this point (And I've become quite good at that.) So his story starts up and he's talking about greed, and somewhere along the line he starts talking about cigarette-manufacturers and McDonalds secretly collaborating to kill America ("and make money while they're at it!") Okay then…his closing statement is about how "America's main export is obese people." The entire class is now talking about different ways obese people can be used, including "Living Pillows." One person blurted out "You forgot prostitutes" and everyone is agreeing. What kind of country did I just move to…

Ohlook, there is a poster on the ceiling that I didn't notice before...It says, and I quote "I got a new cat , but it died the same day I picked it up. Am I doing something wrong? If you are a cat specialist meet me here at 4PM on Wednesday. Bring your diploma, because I'm not going to take advice from an amateur. -Steven" Umm...Today is wednesday. Creepy. And who posts an advertisement like that in a MIDDLE SCHOOL ENGLISH CLASS ROOM? And that's just the least of the issues with this poster, let alone the issues with that Steven guy, he makes my family look normal (For a second, without all the glowing flameso nthier rings...)

Y'know what? I'm gonna take a nap before I get infected. I don't have all that many, and I prefer not to lose IQ points so quickly.

-Taking a Nap

Tsunayoshi Sawada

**I hope you all liked that. Soon I'm going to focus more on our main cast, for now I'm just setting the scene at the school, making it as crazy as Tsuna's family (Is that possible? Not sure)**

**It's Spring Break so I might be able to get another chapter out by the end of the week.**

**There's more to say, but I've probably said it all before.**

**NO FLAMES or I will have Hibari blow up a million LEDs that will all shard out into you! MWAHAHAHA. And then I'll have Ryohei turn all the LEDs embedded in your skin on! AND YOU'LL NEVER FALL ASLEEP AGAIN! MWAHAHAHAHAHA *Coughs and collapses***


	6. TsuTsu's Bizzare Adventure

Don't shoot! I have a good excuse not to have posted in so long. I was lazy.

Oddly enough, I have nothing interesting or funny to say before the chapter. Armageddon must be coming…Ohgod my Microsoft Word just told me that Manga is not a word…WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIEEE

Yeah. Mostly using this story to experiment with comedy. I think Crack is the most popular comedy in writing, though…

In other news I met a monk. And I began writing a series of songfics for Simple Plan's new Album Get Your Heart On!

I started this chapter after Osama died. I just finished. Fourth Quarter of school is HAAARD. The last week of school alone, I had two science projects, a play, and an 85-question math packet. Plus Finals. Yeah. It was an evil last two weeks of school.

Worst part is I have summer school cause I got a B .. On the bright side, Mr. Rose is a very funny character I derived from my Summer school teacher.

Oh and that letter from Steven about his dead cat? That was a real note I found on the ceiling of my English classroom last school year.

No new votes on the Spanner/Kyoko Front.

Quote of the Day: "A Friend in need is a Friend who Sneezed" -Excellen of the SRT:OG series. Yup. I'm quoting a fictional character now. Because…I'm not good with quotes.

Political Corner: Obama's ratings jump after the killing of Osama. Am I the only one who sees this is a Moral Wrong? Shyteloads of people die every day. It was gonna happen eventually…The Daily Show is funneh.

Message of the Day: Visit XKCD for funny comics. I told you I would have something more inspiring and…I failed. Also, try reading Magico, it's a relatively new manga (17-ish chapters) that hasn't really had a bad chapter yet (Hopefully won't soon.) The first arc was rather short, admittedly, but it's interesting to see what direction it'll go into. It's been noted it's closer to a shoujo than most shounen manga.

Squalo: VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIII 

Gokudera: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Squalo: VOOOOOOOIIIIIII

Basil: MEEEEE

Squalo: VOOOOOIIII

Tsuna: IEEEE *Runs*

Squalo: VOOOOOOOIIIIIII

Nana: Oh, are you one of Tsuna's friends? Voi to you too ^_^

Squalo: VOOOOOIII

Bel: Ushishishi *Throws a knife at Squalo*

Squalo: VOOOOOOOIIII

Hana: SHUT UP *Crotch Kick*

Squalo:…Damned….woman….

Chrome:…Where'd Mukuro go?

**Tsu-Tsu's Bizarre Adventure**

(I do not, in fact, read this manga. I hear it's rather bizarre)

Hello. My name is Tsunayoshi Sawada (Which I hope you would know by now.) I am on my way home from school. I slept straight through seventh period (And Gokudera was crying after he found out I slept through his…I never knew how many ways he could say "Juudaime" while crying.) Of course, since we're in Maryland in December the sky is scarcely brighter than the hallways (And the New Moon is brighter than our hallways.) It's probably going to rain any minute. The cloud layer is thicker than Lambo's head. I bet if we fired Ryohei out of a cannon at the sky, we'd lose him.

Our bus is here, as late as usual. And, as usual, Chrome is already on the bus by some illusion she pulled off when no one was looking. Of course, Ryohei and Yamamoto are at the front of the line and Gokudera's walking my way. Hibari…is standing on top of the bus holding his tonfas. As if the bus was going to get bombed or something. Interesting…

Maybe he just plans to beat the ceiling in every time he hears an explosion. In which case I hope Reborn packed a helmet somewhere in this maze of a backpack of mine.

Okay. As soon as people started throwing things, Hibari dropped from the ceiling and grabbed a hostage from each side with handcuffs. On the bright side, all is right with the world (Y'know, in a demented sorta way where no side wins except for a certain high schooler that may or many not be a blood sucking vampire that does NOT, in fact, sparkle.)

In other news, I'm beginning to start to almost consider looking at my mountain of make-up work and considering it partially, sort of, kind of, almost done-ish, in a way.

**~There is…well…definitely no place like home…I guess~**

Due to the interference of one raven-haired mythical monster, the bus was full of children of model behavior. The Bus Driver was so happy that she sped at 75 Miles Per Hour just because they didn't want it to be ruined. I'm surprised we didn't crash (Again.) There was, however, an excessive amount of road rage (Which is illegal here.) Somehow, we got off scot-free while all the people screaming obscenities at our bus drivers got large fines and tickets.

I repeat, the wonders of the American Legal System.

Anyways, the walk home was a bit odd. And by odd I mean normal. Ryohei ran ahead, Hibari and Basil began jumping on rooftops, and Gokudera, Chrome, Yamamoto, and I all walked (Well…I walked as far as I could) to our house.

Right now we're at home, I'm still resting in the living room, jotting stuff down while everyone else gets ready to do whatever. Reborn is, as always when he is not busy torturing me, sleeping in a strange position while holding a chameleon equivalent to the Hydrogen Bomb. Except more powerful. He's currently sleeping inside of one of the shoe cubicle thingies (We have more appliances, cupboards, and furniture in here than there is in the White House.)

Everyone else is in their room. I already know what you are going to ask of me. You all want to know what their rooms are like.

**~MY EEEEYYYEEES~**

I think Ryohei was inspired by that recent fight with Lussuria. His room is decorated rather similar to that. There are two sections. The first is a small metal box in the corner with his bed in it. The second is a boxing arena, complete with lights brighter than the Sun. And brighter than the earlier mentioned Hydrogen Bomb as well.

I walked in and I thought I blacked out. He had to stick me into his little metal box for like an hour before I could see again. At that point I learned that he has a large plush kangaroo in his bed. And that he has stars on the ceiling of his little (Black) Metal box.

There is also a glow-in-the-dark poster that says "KYOUKUGEN" in his little Metal Box. Suffice to say, I got the hell out of there before I became permanently blind due to his lights. I don't know how he can see perfectly fine.

**~Wanna play Candyland? I sure as hell don't~**

So…I decided that I'd be safer if I went to Lambo's room next. I was wrong. Apparently, everyone except for me got about a hundred thousand dollars to renovate and design their rooms (Explains why Ryohei stole the blueprints for something instead of having a unique room.) Lambo, obviously, can't blueprint. His room is basically the board for Candyland.

There is a path, different areas with different candies within said areas, and, quite basically, an overflow of sugar. There is literally a river running through his room made of liquid sugar tempered into a room-temperature liquid. And a chocolate waterfall is cascading down the side of part of his wall.

On the bright side, there are no creepy monsters throwing candy everywhere.

On the down side, Lambo wouldn't let me out of his room until I played a full game of Candyland with him. I am still chipping maple syrup off of my feet (And other stuff, that I hope to be chocolate.)

I'm surprised there wasn't an army of ants in there slowly devouring his entire room. His bed is made of crystallized sugar cut out into the shape of a bed.

I am really scared to know what Lambo is like at home. I was only with him for an hour and he was more high than a drunk man smoking marijuana while simulataneously injecting himself with numerous drugs (As well as numerous diseases and STDs and possibly mild sedative. Stay Clean so you don't end up dying early. Unless you plan on commiting suicide anyways.)

~**Hong Kong's Number One Hit(wo)man!~**

I-Pin's room is…not what you'd expect. Half of the room is all fluffy and pink and nice, and otherwise stereotypically the room designed for a small little girl.

The other half…happens to be a very…complete….training area. Part of it is a kitchen that has such a powerful garlic smell that I'm currently covered in both Sugar AND Garlic smell STILL. And I don't think it's going to be gone anytime soon. On the bright side, I'm safe from Vampires. Ants, however, are a different story.

Aside from her Gyoza-assembly station of a kitchen, there is an incredible amount of training equipment. In the corner there are a bunch of destroyed punching bags.

When I entered her room, she was singing in the kitchen cooking Gyozas. I didn't disturb her.

~**Go to Hell~**

Yeah. I fear that if I go visit anyone else's room it'll be the equivalent to going to Hell (Which Mukuro has gone to Seven Times. I have Six Guardians plus Reborn and I-Pin. Yeah…I don't feel like going to the rest of these Hells. I'll let Mukuro keep his World Record)

Anyways, Reborn is holding a sniper rifle at my back right now. So I'm going to go work on my homework…

REBOOOOOOOOOORRRN, (MY FIRST WRITTEN DYING WILL!)

I MUST FINISH MY HOMEWORK WITH MY DYING WILL.

~**The Hangover~**

I will start by saying that I have never been drunk before. I bet it's not as bad as writing more than 100 million words, and doing the Everest of all Homework Pile-Ups while semi-conscious. I would not recommend trying it. Unless you are a masochist, which, contrary to popular belief and X rated fanfictions written by 1827 shippers, I am NOT. At ALL. It HURTS. It hurts more than being attacked by army ants after being soaked under fifty layers of sugar! I would know. I would, however, know what a hangover is like. I assume it is not this bad.

Excuse me….I think I'm going to take a nap…Until I reach school. I've asked Ryohei to carry me

**~Tsuna hears a who~**

So I didn't wake up at all while being carried through my morning routine, luckily. Although, I had a really strange dream. I suppose, compared to the rest of my life, that it was fairly average. I can't really remember all that much about the dream. I can remember a gigantic Reborn with a huge Leon-Nuke. It all gets fuzzy after that. Although I DO have a feeling that the dream involved Reborn forcibly nuking me…It IS something he would do…

Anyyyways.

Sitting on the bus. Hearing a whole lot of complaints about the electricity issues and rumors. One person said they were planning on breaking into the shack outside of the school with the High Voltage sign to kill off the emergency lights and just end it all. On the bright side, this bus can actually unite on a concept for once. I think we've found the answer to world peace. Just shut off all the electricity in the world. That seems to solve things. People are gonna blame the government and that's all going to collapse. But at least they'll all stop arguing. If it works in a PUBLIC SCHOOL for two hours, it can work in the entire world for at least 5 or 6 centuries.

…I think I heard something. A snore. Or a sigh. From my backpack. But I know Hibari isn't in there. Is it Reborn? Why are there always people sleeping in my backpack? Just because it's so big that Reborn put living quarters and a kitchen into it doesn't mean I want people sleeping in my backpack.

It's very disturbing.

…And I think I hear something coming from my backpack. A quiet, faint bit of speech. I can't really make it out, it's far too quiet. Just a tiny little monologue from somewhere within my backpack.

What the hell!

Sorry for that bad handwriting. Reborn just suddenly popped out of my backpack, told me that Lambo was in my backpack under some "Mild Sedative" to be used as a generator for the school. So apparently my backpack isn't just a 3 Star hotel, it's a battery too. Full of Mild sedative. Would anyone like my life? I'm willing to trade! It doesn't matter if the only way you can read this is because you snuck into a public library. Your life can't possibly be worse than mine. If you've had a heart attack previously, you shouldn't suffer for too long in my life. If you're suicidal, all the better!

(A/N: While supplies last we are selling the Nazi 3.0. Now, not only is it programmed to fix every grammar mistake you make using rude and possibly obscene remarks, it will also correct your grammar in up to fifteen languages and censor everything you say with any obscenity until you're driven mad! It's a limited time offer, so call now! You won't regret it! If you call RIGHT NOW we'll throw in a free GPS! $500 Shipping and handling. Warning include: Radiation, Death, and insanity. For only $1337 more, we'll swap your model with the Amy 2.0! So call today!)

**~Everything's juuust rosy…~**

So I'm in math class now. Meanwhile, in that small shack I told you about earlier, Lambo is tied up and his energy is being fed into the school's electrical system. So all the lights are shining at twice their normal brightness, blinding me (But not as much as Ryohei's room did,) and every single appliance is on. I hear microwaves, chainsaws (Don't ask,) televisions, pencil sharpeners, and 2x amp'd speakers everywhere. I also learned that Orchestra has a particularly powerful set of speakers. That hook into the main intercom system.

Yeah.

Right now I'm just sitting in a random desk in my Math class. Normally it would shift randomly. This time it shifted with purpose. No one in sitting in the front at all. Not a soul. And everyone is with their cliques (See: Categories 101, 102, did I make a 103 yet?)

You can probably guess why.

Substitute Teacher.

Before I tell you about this one, I'll make (Or possibly continue) Categories 103!

The different types of Substitute Teachers!

The "Go To Hell while I sip coffee" Substitute: This is that crotchety old man/woman, or maybe just that irritable person, who throws a whole bunch of work at you at the start of the period and tells you to finish it for a grade ("Busywork," as they admit when the last bell rings) while they sit there abusing the teacher's internet connection and generally ignoring the actual class unless they get loud.

The "Too Artsy" Substitute: This substitute probably won't give you work at all. She'll (99% Female, .2% Male, .8% Other) give you absolutely no work and she'll connect with some of the students and let them do whatever they want to. She'll show interest in culture and art and music, and be friendly and nice. Then the next day (If you're lucky) your normal teacher will give you all the work you missed due the next day.

The Sarcastic Teacher: (A/N: My favorite! Y'know, from now on I'm making this T/N, for Translator's note instead, since, as you know, Tsuna is writing this. Mukuro, shut up and stop insisting we are all in your Matrix!) This is the teacher who will only give you the work you're supposed to do, but she/he won't let you do whatever you want either. She'll/He'll break school hierarchy and sarcastically put down all the top dogs while simultaneously being funny and insulting the entire country while they're at it.

The "I do my job right. Now shut up" substitute: This one will follow every last guideline exactly, keeping the entire classroom under a certain amount of decibels, making them to work, separating anyone they want to, and utterly being a complete hardass.

The "Screw it all; I'm just here for the free internet." Substitute: This one will hog the teacher's computer and let everyone just screw around and be as brainless as most of them truly are.

The Foreign Teacher: Insert Racist Stereotype Here. Results may vary.

The "My job is to do so and so, and therefore, I will sit here and stare at you for forty-six minutes" Substitute: I promise never to squeeze humor out of self-reference…Shit.

The "I'm a substitute. That means I just need to be here to do my job right because we have a low standard anyways" Substitute: Fun at times, sometimes it's just boring.

The Substitute Substitute: This is what happens when your substitute is just THAT lazy. Believe me. It happens. Please refer to any other type of substitute for the Substitute Substitute It is, in fact, possible for your second substitute to be just as lazy. In which case you may get a substitute substitute substitute. This paradox usually does not go past four due to the length of a class period.

The "Irritate me and Die" Substitute: I can say nothing about this. If you haven't had one yet, you're lucky, but I simply cannot describe them. This Xanxus or Reborn, combined together, without any powers, then turned into substitute teachers. Yeah.

Maybe later I'll list more. However, none of these are the category of my Substitute, Mr. Rose. He's a…

"OMG Isn't learning fun!" Substitute: He (Usually Male. Statistics unavailable due to no one caring enough to make them up this time) actually LIKES one (or two) field(s) and exclusively teaches that (Those) field(s) when the normal teacher is gone. He'll try to get other people excited, but will ultimately fail with his bad jokes. He'll probably have a receding hairline, glasses, and….well you get the point by now.

So that's Mr. Rose in a nutshell. Pocket Protector and all. He even has a couple of teacher's Aides. He's currently saying something along the lines of "Okay, you need to prepare for the future. So we're going to do the most fun thing in the world! Factoring! Well, the second most fun thing in the world." Teacher's Aide: "Is the MOST fun thing what I think it is?" Mr. Rose: "Yup. So today you're all gonna learn how to factor x4+4x3-2x-8, and even LONGER expressions!"

I've never heard such a loud groan before. Then again, I've also never seen a substitute teacher with 123 page packets before either. Or one who brought 4 teacher's aides with him. Teacher's Aide 1 said that comment above. He's…the tall nerd who's sarcastic and overall irritating. You know them, right? Teacher's Aide 2 is bored Asian girl; classically smart and completely uncaring. Teacher's Aide 3 is a more enthusiastic Asian girl, and the friend of the second Teacher's Aide. Teacher's Aide 4 is a really short (white) girl who sits in the corner and does math, strangely enough she does NOT wear glasses (in fact, it's weird, none of them do except for Teacher's Aide 3. Maybe contacts, though) They are TA1, TA2, TA3, and TA4.

Yeah. Someone just jumped out of the window and ran screaming from the classroom. That's one end of the spectrum. The other end of the spectrum is a quiet, Asian girl whispering from across the room and asking why we need to learn factoring in Geometry.

Then on an entirely different spectrum is Gokudera turning in his math packet. While Chrome and Hibari are ditching. Of course, there is a Tonfa-shaped mark in the wall and an illusionary Chrome in her seat, so I have feeling they aren't going to get in any trouble. Err…Ryohei is doing his work Final Fantasy A+ style and trying to punch his papers into submission. I swear he's just waiting for Kyoukugen Fighter A+ to appear on his forehead. I didn't even know he knew how to use the internet.

Anyways. If I want to survive the next forty-odd minutes, I don't think I can keep writing.

Being bored to death

-Tsunayoshi Sawada

**NO FLAMES, or I will send an "OMG, isn't learning fun!" Substitute and four teacher's aides to surround you and bore you to death!**

**Look, I finally got a chapter out, aren't you proud? Next chapter is going to be outside of the school (Unless you guys actually want to hear Mr. Rose's lesson plan and learn ALL about factoring…)**

**Did you know that there is a Rockman Online? For some reason, Korea makes all the MMO versions of my childhood (Digimon, Megaman, Dragonball…) then five years later they release it in America (I'm still waiting on Dragonball…then again, I haven't checked in a while)**

**I accept requests.**

**I also accept tips in the form of Prepaid game cards! And free hugs.**

Hisw


End file.
